HAPPY SWEET 16 DARL(:
this week stinks and i mean it.
I NEED MOTIVATION. in which is suppose to come from myself. i only want A1 for maths, 3 or least 4 points for N-level but crap i'm not making the effort. i'm just talking and not wanting move my damn chair. there's cca tomorrow for us seniors only which will suck big time and camp's this weekend. it is so not fair. i badly wanted to go out tomorrow not only to celebrate darl's birthday but spend the leap year outside. OK i don't know but the leap seem to be something super exciting for me and NO its not my birthday. jakun i suppose ?
FAILED malay class test which is darn demoralizing alright. how HOW the fuck am i suppose to get an A1 ? goodness i think i'm in need of some grooming here.

HELP ME! i badly need some HELP!


a prefect description of how i'm feeling, thinking and being.




you are making me suffer in silence somehow.







i'm hungry. DAMN i don't want to eat at this hour. maths paper suck big time. why can't i ever apply what i learn ? i wish and long to drop maths in some way but HELL NO there's no such thing. geog paper tomorrow another darn thing. she's been edgy lately, fucking irritating faggot. i want to go for a short break somewhere at new zealand or phuket.
it's impossible i know.
OH DARLING! i don't know either. i definitely want this friendship to be salvage. i'm not that petty to be angry about you not spending time with me but it is indeed upsetting. i don't want your apologies, one is greatly enough. but ya you can't deny i'm like a souvenir in your cupboard that's getting dusty due to lack of your concern or care ? and it made me realise how i still can't accept the whole damn thing. i'm sorry too but i guess i just need to be given time and i don't know how long. but accepting is a definite NO! leave things as it is at the moment ?


OUT with beckett.
it was great like all times but sadly we missed the movie. it was damn crowded and the leap year movie is out. ( yes i'm slow) we wanted to catch the movie but the slot was somewhere between midnight, if only i could stay out that late ? it is infuriating. i really looked forward to watch ps i love you and jumper but apparently that goody beckett watched jumper online just yesterday. headed down Clarke quay to have dinner. and met up with fatheen at far east. that lady came late so she missed the chance to cut her hair again. HAHA! my leg hurts using the new pumps. blisters every where. i've bought the billabong bag. YAY! pictures are with the sassy lady, so i'll have to wait.
sleep tight peeps.


i'm really sleepy but dying to blog. met up with fatheen at 8, she wanted to get a hair cut but sadly the shop closed even before 9. so we sat down, chatted and crap. it was really great since i was feeling edgy. we even saw darl at toa payoh.
malay compo was SHIT! i created some lame story and we did not have any choice, there was only one question.
i've decided to enlarge my font since zum and fatheen compliment my wordings are too small.
i don't know but is friend someone who comes and go in your life but your girlfriend stays forever ? seriously i've never been any more pissed after you started the relationship. i felt my understanding was really taken for granted. i've also wanted you to have your own breathing space but a day, few minutes together, is it hard ? i'm just disappointed and hurt. you just don't feel that we're distanced cause you're so occupied right now. sometimes i long to go back home with you but seeing you both, i back off.
IT FEELS SO FUCKED UP!
if i'm a bitch friend of yours, i'm SORRY.anyway i've cool it, just ranting. common test is just next week and so is the camp. zum and me we'll be going out tomorrow. i'm excited(:
goodnight my loves.


today's compo, I wrote about not realising how important the people around you are till they are gone. it's just amazingly true. skip this alright, its gonna get emotional.
MALAY compo tomorrow, SHIT! i don't know how or what to revise. A confirm dead end.
i would love to go shopping now and indulge myself in some great treats. smelly girl's birthday is approaching. we had it planned out already. going out this leap year and watch the leap year movie. saw the sypnosis and it looks really romantic so I decided to check it out.


the rose withers away andi'm left in agony.
had a bad start for the day. my bus came late,my missed 125 which was just right in front of me and was late for school. GEEZ! home,while walking to the bustop, i missed 64 which was,the same senario,rihgt in front of me. i've been missing buses right in front of me helplessly today. and i was wondering how to ease my monday blues with 4 poa periods and BAMMMM ms tan never came. alright this sound mean but at least it made my day slightly better and well i considered it as a break.
watched JUNO online yesterday. its really great. my ratings will be EXCELLANT!. that extremely great. beckett and i will be watching jumper and ps i love you this weekend. we're suppose to be mugging for common test but thought how about taking a day off studies but making sure we've studied enough. after all i'm not wanting any dampening results. enough of ranting, goodnight(:


PURPLE's SWEET! braces fixed today and i can feel the irritation, the pull and it being tight.the colours i choosed was black and purple. the braces ain't pretty,its crooked. it takes time to be straight for sure. mum bought a real pretty white pumps but it's not my size so it's given to my sis. i really love it a lot and mummy is gonna buy for me. i really LOVE her truckloads for the dotes and her being understanding most of the time. ms tan was picking on me the whole lesson alright, maybe she's not but i feel it that way and fcuk it SUCK big time! of course i'll make sure i'm doing the right stuff so that she does not have any issues with me. SOBER!
darl's so distanced!

ITS STARTING AGAIN! and i don't know how to be immune to it.

Sunday, February 10, 2008 @ 8:03 PM

Life can't get any better. i'm enjoying the holidays indeed. esp when it comes to eating(: i was suppose to be mugging real hard the last 3 days but in fact i slacked! i watched the whole season of supernatural and boy i can't get enough of sam and dean. i'm so much madly in love with them. i wonder if beckett can let me have the disc. HAHA in my dreams thats what she can say. and i did not know dean acted in smallville. CUTE!
the book i'm reading is seriously highly recommended. tuesdays with morrie the same writer of the book darl read, the five people you meet in heaven. she's so much faster than me.tuesdays with morrie teaches life's greatest lesson for instance,"Learn to detach.Don't cling to things because everything is impermanent." there's many more and it struck me how people(me included) actually run around clueless about life, about what they actually want deep down. it touched it more than i ever thought.
speaking of darl, i MISS that lady. we don't even talk as in really sit down and chit chat. when was the last time we actually did that ? you know you have not been spending quality time with me but fret not i don't hold it against you. i can't wait for the day we'll be celebrating this smelly girl's birthday.
till then see ya people!

love each other or perish, something new i learnt from the book.

Monday, February 04, 2008 @ 10:43 PM

monday blues for me. i dont know if i'm not trying hard enough but i can never score freaking well for maths as much as i try its always a just pass. maybe i'm not trying hard enough, but for sure i'm not g
iving up.
i forgot what i learnt for prepaid accruals and well there's a test tmr. gosh it means spending the last minutes squeezing everything in. ohhhhh, i swear i'm hating mt even more. i hate malay to begin with. 2 compos, shit! i dont even have the feel to do it. fucking crappy!
hey on zummy's bday clebration, we watched 27 dresses,its fucking sweet and romantic kind of movie and one missed call. HAHA zummy got a smelly birhtday bash!
OH well! as much as i try, i still cant get over the fucking fact.
i'm sorry!

Friday, February 01, 2008 @ 9:34 PM

everyone's asleep at home and for sure its cause of the cool weather. i'm awaiting to catch supernatural before i turn in. a lot have happened this week and i'm not bothered to summarize things up. but for sure, i know who are my friends and who are just the crappy lots.
beckett and me have decided to quit blogshop after all from fatheen's experience money is not everything in life and i wanna concentrate on my studies and be a student like before. even if i'm stressed out, i rather it be cause of studies.
its sad i cant be there for beckett when she needs me. but its super great to know she's alright now. so much for me keeping a phone and yet i cant be there for her. its just phone calls away. so now i shall not put my phone on silent mode when i'm home. beckett you can call me anyitme NOW(:
ulcers every where in my mouth but its a rather common thing after extraction. i've been eating either liquid food or porridge lately and thank goodness i went on a eating spree before. HAHA(: goodnight peeps